May must be National Reading Month because I have another great book to tell you about. It’s called Finding True Love in a Man Eat Man World by Craig Nelson.
The very first chapter talks about how gay men successful go about avoiding love and gives a few archetypes they often play in gay love relationships.
Mr. Miserable focuses on his weaknesses rather than his strengths. For him, the glass is always half empty. Mr. Sabotage is caught in a trap of feeling lonely so he looks for love but when it turns serious he looks for a way out. And he repeats the cycle. Mr. Ugly thinks he’s too ugly to find someone, and ignores all the fine qualities he has. There are others, but you get the picture.
So what’s the key to avoiding becoming one of these gentlemen and to finding what we’re all looking for: someone to love us unconditionally for who we are? Good self-esteem, self-respect, and a solid sense of yourself. These will take you further in attracting a long-term lover than any other qualities you may have. And that goes for the other man, too. Once you know and accept yourself and understand “I’m a real catch” you can avoid any guy who has self-hatred and attract great guys. Real serenity and comfort are incredibly attractive magnets.
Know what you have to give. Know that others are waiting for you to give it. Not in a conceited way, but from a realistic, honest way that comes from self-knowledge and perspective. Once you come at it from that angle, you’ll attract men like flies to honey.
The bottom line: You attract what you are, not what you want.
Think about that for a while.