The first is logical: You’re frustrated with the bars, don’t have the time or energy for online dating, sick of sorting through profiles, etc. That’s the practical side of it, right?
And there’s an emotional reason to hire a matchmaker, too. It could be that you’ve experienced a lot of rejection in your life as a gay man and you want to avoid the rejection that often comes in the dating world – or at least as much of it as possible. A matchmaker pre-screens people for you, and can help in this regard.
Other emotional reasons could be that you don’t feel you deserve a relationship or it’s not worth all the effort.
I mention these to explain that I help clients create a shift in their lives, and I do that through the coaching that I do. In the course of our relationship, I constantly come back to a few touchstones that I know to be true. Mainly, that no matter who you are you are worthy of love and it can happen to you. You can give and receive love. I’ve seen it happen too many times with clients who thought otherwise. But I showed them!
Forging relationships is also hard for gay men in general because most are extremely giving people by nature, and it’s hard for them to receive or accept love. I tell these clients that they can have a fulfilled, happy life if they really want it.
One of the great parts of what I do is that when a client does meet The One, that special man to call his own, it doesn’t even matter if the introduction to that man comes through me. Sometimes, a client will meet the guy himself!
The point is that my coaching gets you to a place where it can happen – where you open to love. And this is the shift I’m talking about…the shift you make in your life that wouldn’t happen without the coaching. The one that gets you ready to find the man of your dreams. It’s the shift I go for. Everything after that – meeting the man included – is easy.
As you can imagine, making a shift like this takes time. On average, it takes one of my clients six to nine months to find someone, although this is not always the case! One client found Mr. Right after two sessions with me; for another, it took nearly two years. But it isn’t a race or a contest. It’s your life. And love happens for you the way it’s supposed to happen for you. And you know what? The client for whom it took two years told me that it was completely worth it.
In some ways, the most important match I make is the one I help you make with yourself, which I think is pretty cool.