I think it’s pretty funny that even though communication is vital to our relationships, especially our love relationships, we as a society have some funny substitutes for it like “blah, blah, blah” and “Yadda, yadda, yadda” (immortalized on Seinfeld).
But I’m a big advocate of talking. We tell our emotionally overwrought children who are whining or crying or fussing to “Use your words!” Well, my friends, now I’m telling you.
Great relationships start with great conversations. That means talking and freely sharing of yourself with your date/boyfriend/partner and, even more importantly, asking questions and attentively listening to his answers. That’s really all there is to it, but oh how difficult it can be to follow through on!
This concept is a cornerstone of my relationship coaching because it shifts the conventional way men approach dating. It’s very often about the goal of getting into bed. I’m not here to judge this, but just pointing out the reality as I see it.
What would happen if you tabled the getting-into-bed agenda, and instead simply had a conversation? How might you feel after an evening spent doing that? Would you feel like you accomplished something? Or would you feel unfulfilled? Do you even know? Have you ever tried it? If not, I’d like to challenge you to give it a go and see what your experience is like. Ideally, you would have an opportunity to talk to your man about it at some point after, to compare notes. This is real communication! This is the kind of conversation that creates intimacy and brings you closer. And talk about a turn-on. Trust me, if things go well when you use your mouth to talk, they will most likely go well when you use it for other activities.
If you find this topic compelling, I invite you to join me for a fun workshop called “Talking: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac.” It’s the second in my 3-part series entitled “You’re Getting Warmer: Perfecting Your Search for Mr. Right.” Details are below. Just click on the links to learn more.
What: Talking: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac
Where: The Gazebo, Davies Medical Center [map]
When: Tuesday, Feb 23, 7:00-9:00 p.m.
Free and open to everyone.
Sponsored by: The Community Initiative