Mike & Ross
TOGETHER TWO YEARS
“Home is where your heart smiles.” – Ross
Ross and Mike’s connection is deeply rooted in a trust that began on their very first date. Mike trusted Ross to order his food, and ever since then they have allowed themselves to be vulnerable with each other. They both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they would never hurt each other. This was the support they needed to get through some tough times – Ross struggled to come out to his family and Mike had to learn to let down his walls. Mike credits Ross with helping him do that and explains “Ross is my best friend, before anything else. Everything else just falls into place.” Monogamy is also an important aspect of their relationship’s foundation. They state “we’re not your stereotypical gay couple,” and insist that they’re both relationship-oriented and that they would never cheat on each other. No wonder their bond is so strong!
A bond based on such deep trust can only be strengthened through our physical relationship with our partner. Passion and chemistry is what keeps us together long enough to find out who a person really is and whether they’re someone we could spend our lives with. If we’re really lucky, that chemistry will just get stronger and stronger, and the sex better and better! Ross and Mike are lucky enough to be one of those couples. In fact, it’s hard to tell whether their relationship is so successful is because they have amazing sex or whether they have amazing sex because their relationship is so successful. To them, I suppose it doesn’t matter. When they met two years ago, they had an instant and strong sexual attraction, an energy Mike describes as ‘butterflies,’ and they can still barely keep their hands off each other. They average sex four to six times a day and describe themselves as “amazingly connected.” Ross says, “We can’t get enough of each other. Before Mike, I had never felt such a strong sexual desire for anyone. I’m dating him and I want rip his clothes off!” To them, sex is a way to lavish each other with affection, something Mike initially found difficult to express. He says of Ross, “he helped me show affection – I didn’t know how. He helped me be me! He helped me to be happy and blissful.” Clearly it’s something about these two together that is special. What they have found is more than two men finding pleasure in each other’s bodies – sex to them is a connection of spirit and soul.
Listening to them talk you can tell that their devotion runs so deep because they appreciate each other as individuals, and love to learn about each other. When thinking back to what it was like when they started dating Ross says “It was exciting learning about him and getting to know him, and till this day I am inspired to get to know him.” They are extremely supportive of each other’s goals and Mike already knows that he is willing to pack up his things and move if Ross’ career ever needs it. He explains, “My job will come to an end but my relationship with Ross is irreplaceable,” turning to Ross and adding, “and I can’t lay you off!”
It might seem that their relationship is a cakewalk but they’re first to tell you that it’s not a perfect fairytale. They do a lot to make it work. They communicate about everything, even during conflicts, never running away from the problem. This is not a couple that takes breaks, believing that no good can come of it. And I agree – communication is the most important thing in making a relationship work! So while it’s true they had an incredible level of passion for each other from the very beginning, they also had their problems. Ross confessed he was immature and would turn up at Mike’s house drunk. It took Mike breaking up with him for Ross to see that he had to put Mike first. He says that having his eyes opened in such a way was hard but he was grateful for the lesson – it helped him see what was valuable in his life!
Although they have differing opinions on marriage – one believes in it but isn’t ready, while the other doesn’t think it necessary only because he already feels married – they have very similar and almost traditional ideas of what home means to them. Both of them describe home more as a feeling than a place, simply put as “warm fuzzies” but more seriously described as a feeling of safety and of being with family. As they so perfectly express to each other, “Mike has loved me and helped me grow. He is a continuation of my family,” and Mike to Ross, “I’m at home when I’m with you.” Their home will certainly weather the tests of time – any home built on such a strong foundation of true passion, compassion, and trust will survive whatever life throws at them.